Before we begin
Our agreements
When we talk about our own work, we need to agree how we will hold what is said. These agreements, and the care routes behind them, come before any practice.
The card
5 minArriving here, about 4 minutes, in its adult wording.
Welcome. Before we begin, take a moment to arrive here, wherever here is for you today, and sit in whatever way is comfortable.
Let your attention rest on three things: a sound around you, a feeling in your body and a thought passing through your mind.
If attention on the body is uncomfortable, rest it on your feet on the floor or your hands in your lap, or look around the room.
You do not need to change anything you notice. Paying attention to it is the whole practice.
When you are ready, bring your attention back to the group.
Anyone can pass, and quiet is taking part.
A short talk
10 minWhen we talk about our own work, we need to agree how we will hold what is said. These agreements, and the care routes behind them, come before any practice.
Talk notes
- Groups learn more when people feel safe to speak up and to get things wrong in front of each other. Agreements made together at the start are one way to build that.Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350 to 383. doi:10.2307/2666999
- Trauma-informed approaches put safety, choice, trust and shared decisions first. They also mean not pressing anyone to tell hard stories, which these sessions avoid.Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (2014). SAMHSA's Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach. HHS Publication No. (SMA) 14-4884. Rockville, MD: SAMHSA. Publisher page
- Sharing is always a choice and always small. Anyone can pass, and quiet is taking part.
Discussion
10 minQuestions in pairs or small groups. Anyone can pass.
- Which of these agreements matters most to you, and why?
- What would make it easier to pass, or to step away, in this group?
The activity
30 minOnline
Share the starting agreements on screen and invite changes by voice or in the chat until everyone can live with them. Agree camera and caption norms, name the care routes, then give ten quiet minutes, cameras optional, for each person to take the private "Where I am now" reflection.
In a room
Put the agreements on a flip chart, change them together and keep the sheet for every session.
Starting agreements
- What is said here stays here, with two limits. If someone may be at risk of serious harm, or a law or professional duty means something must be reported, the facilitator will say so, and will tell the person first where they can. What is learned here can leave.
- Nobody records, screenshots or transcribes a session. Please turn off any note-taking tool.
- Speak about your own experience, and leave out names and identifying details of anyone else.
- Passing is always allowed, with no reason needed.
- Cameras are optional, and captions stay on for anyone who wants them.
- Step away whenever you need to, and come back when you are ready.
- Disagree with ideas, and stay kind to people.
Care routes
Before this session, the group's host, if it has one, names its care routes: who to contact if someone is struggling, inside and outside the group, and how to reach local emergency help. Write them in here and keep them on screen. If your group has no host organisation, agree two things now: one person in the group, who is not the facilitator, for people to contact; and one outside service in each person's own country. A directory of crisis lines by country is at findahelpline.com. Threats or harassment connected to this work are outside what these sessions can hold. Decide together who you would trust to help, which for some groups is not the police. Nobody can promise that a group is free of people who would pass things on. Say only what you would be comfortable seeing repeated.
Where the answers go. The "Where I am now" reflection stays on each person's own device and is never collected. If your group also runs an evaluation, it is separate, with its own consent, and the group's host says who holds those answers. Open the reflection.
Private reflection
10 minTry it this week. Notice one moment this week when the work felt heavy, and one thing that helped, even a little.
Before you try it, the field log asks:
- What matters most to me in this conversation?
- What am I assuming about them?
- What will I do when I notice the first sign of stress?
Quiet time. Nobody shares what they write.
Closing
5 minOne word for the road, about 4 minutes, in its adult wording.
Before we close, I will invite each person to offer one word for how they are leaving. Any honest word is welcome, including "tired".
We will receive each word without asking for an explanation or responding to it, with a little silence between people.
You can say your word, type it in the chat, say "pass" or stay quiet, and I will move on.
I will go first. Then anyone who wants to can add a word, in any order, or type it in the chat.
Anyone can pass, and quiet is taking part.
For your peer circle. What would help you feel able to speak honestly in this group?
Five to spare
5 minBecause sessions run over, and that is fine.
Practices to try at home.
Your email opens with this session named in the subject, and nothing is sent until you send it. A person reads these.
Or write to info@recipesforwellbeing.org
Take the practices into your group
Every lesson and card these sessions draw on is free to download, with plans you can edit and adapt for adults.
Or only the cards: printable PDF or slides to project.
